Quantum of Solace

It's been a year since I came to this new workplace. It has been great so far and most importantly, I survived my first year here, so...hooray to me! On this day, exactly a year ago, I went to report for duty at my new division and it happened to be on the day that the Ministry was having the Hari Raya Open House. It was a massive celebration and instead of sitting on my desk, I went to meet a few familiar faces and it really helped to calm down my nervousness of being a newbie there. But we got right into business the following day - I attended a briefing in the morning and was being sent to an official trip straight away. It was a trip up north to get to....(wait for it) an open sea! Yes, I got to be on a patrol boat right on my third day. To make it more interesting, my immediate boss who was supposed to be with us had to pull out from the trip due to an unforeseen circumstances. So, it was just me and my subordinate navigating the session with the respective agencies 😅   ...

Quick stats to sum up my January 2023:  #04of2023 #WednesdayWriting

  "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." –  Mark Twain Four years ago, I quoted this gem on my birthday post alongside an honest declaration that I was, at that point of time unable to fully comprehend the purpose of me being here just yet. After 42 times of embarking the journey around the sun, suffice to say, I already figure out the latter, though it was not a smooth sailing journey all the way. In conjunction of my birthday month, here is my reflection of life as a 40-something lass..  Life is like a Birthday Cake   ~ 🎂 People always say that life begins at 40. Little did I know that it was not supposed to mean that life after 40 is going to be a fun and easy one. Of course, by the time we've reached 40, w e got most of the major life events sorted out already – education, love/marriage, family, career and all. Adulthood undoubtfully was an eventful journey ~ burning the midnight oil t...

Beberapa minggu lepas ada ujian yang datang menimpa. Biasalah, kalau namanya hidup, mana pernah berhenti daripada diuji. Cuma ujian kali ini datang dalam bentuk yang amat berbeza – diri ini terpalit dan terbelenggu dengan suatu kerumitan yang bukan ditimbulkan sendiri, bukan dicari, di luar pengetahuan dan perkara yang berlaku itu tidak pernah terfikirkan. Butiran insiden itu tak perlulah dihuraikan di sini kerana agak peribadi. Cuma sebagai seorang yang agak berwaspada dan tidak keterlaluan boleh dikatakan punya daya firasat atau instinct yang kuat, bila terjadinya perkara ini, soalannya ialah “Kenapa?”   Tipulah jika dikata hati ini tidak kecewa. Tipulah jika dikata tak menyumpah dalam hati. Perasaan marah, geram, keliru, risau semua bersatu. Apa yang dirasa di jiwa dan yang membelenggu di benak tak terluah dengan kata-kata. Lebih pedih sebab diri ini tiada daya untuk mengubah apatah lagi menghalangnya. Dalam pada melayan perasaan tu, tiba-tiba timbul dalam jiwa dan fiki...

When I finally got the time to post something on the much abandoned blog, but I spent most of it to update the lay-out 😂. Well, I have so much to share here - about my opinion on things around me, about my feelings, about the places that I had visited, but somehow I did not manage to start it or to be exact, to finish it.   Well, to my defence, I did wrote a few posts. But it all got stuck in the draft section and not being published - just yet. I don't particularly know the real reason for the delays. I am a procrastinator, that is for sure. But I don't really have the answer on why I did not proceed to finish the post nor why don't I just post the finished ones at all. Deep down inside, I think the reason for me holding back is because I am not very sure about the direction of this blog anymore. I started it off with the main objective to be my creative outlet - for me to share about my thoughts and feelings, hence the blog description 'the unspoken thoug...

Hello everybody!! As of February 2017, I'm no longer a student sob..sob..sob.  Alhamdulillah,  I'd completed the 3-semester course and had report back to work early this month. See how fast the time flies when you are having fun? Ahaks! So this is it.  No more surviving each day in jeans and T-shirts, carrying the backpack around campus. I'm now back to work, back to the real working world.. hush! Well, truth to be told, while I was enjoying my time with my studies and new friends, I think the 15 months break from the office is just enough for me. Not later, not sooner.  I'm so grateful that the opportunity to pursue my studies came during the time when my motivation was very low, the environment had become so toxic and I literally had to drag myself to work. So, the study leave was very much (read: desperately) needed. I enjoyed my student life - making new friends, interesting discussions with the lecturers, undertaking the tasks and most importantl...

Sebenarnya setiap hari, setiap perjalanan baik suka atau duka yang kita lalui adalah pengajaran dalam hidup. Terpulang kepada hati dan fikiran kita sama ada hendak mengambil sebagai iktibar atau sebaliknya. Seminggu yang lalu antara minggu yang banyak mendatangkan pengajaran dalam hidup saya. Takut terlupa, baik dikongsikan di sini untuk pengajaran kepada diri sendiri dan mungkin sedikit manfaat kepada yang membacanya.... Tentang hati  Segalanya bermula dari hati.  Hati yang mendorong kita untuk berperasaan dengki atau bersenang hati.  Hati yang membawa pemikiran untuk positif atau negatif. Hati yang menghala mata untuk melihat kebaikan atau kejelekan. Hati kalau cantik, tindak-tanduk dan percakapan pasti molek. Hati adalah cermin diri. Oleh itu, jagalah hati agar sentiasa bersyukur, positif, bersangka baik dan merendah diri. Nescaya rakan tak mengata, musuh tak mengeji. Tentang hidup dan kepayahan Walaupun pernah susah, kita mungkin terlu...

Salam Ramadhan semua! Diam tak diam hari ini masuklah hari ke-16 kita berpuasa. Alhamdulillah.Memang entri ini tertinggal keretapi, tapi masih juga saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Berpuasa dan Selamat Meningkatkan Ibadah di bulan Ramadhan ini. Bercakap tentang berpuasa ini, memanglah semua pun tahu yang bulan ini kita dilarang daripada makan/minum dan melakukan perkara yang membatalkan puasa dari terbit matahari sehinggalah terbenam matahari pada hari tersebut. Begitu juga dengan ibadah eksklusif bulan Ramadhan seperti membayar zakat fitrah, menunaikan solat sunat terawikh dan sebagainya. Itu boleh dikirakan satu kelaziman untuk dilaksanakan dalam bulan ini. Tetapi t ahun ini, mungkin disebabkan faktor peningkatan usia (sob! sob!) ,  saya ada perspektif tambahan tentang ibadah berpuasa yang ingin dikongsikan di sini. Jika kita perasan, semasa bulan Ramadhan ni, kebanyakan daripada kita akan jadi e xtra cautious dengan setiap pertuturan, sikap dan tindakan kita. Contohn...

Semalam semasa post ucapan Selamat Hari Pekerja di FB, saya mengimbau  kembali kenangan pekerjaan terawal yang pernah dibuat semenjak remaja hingga kini. Niat di hati sekadar nak berkongsi pengalaman lama. Tetapi, s elepas post status tersebut dan dapat reaksi daripada kawan-kawan,  saya baru tersedar, bahawasanya pengalaman bekerja rencam itu walaupun singkat, telah turut mencorakkan siapa diri saya kini. So, I decided to share the full story here, as a reminder for myself and also as a reminisce of the memories of working for the first time. Pekerjaan pertama saya ialah semasa berumur 19 tahun, kerja sementara semasa cuti semester. Ketika itu saya masih belajar di  Matrikulasi UPM. Niat bekerja memang untuk dapat pendapatan. Abah baru meninggal dunia ketika itu. It was a turning point to me. I realized that I need to leave the old lifestyle and  in order to survive, I have to do something. As an  introvert + low self-esteem (yang melampau ketik...

Semenjak dua menjak ini seolah-olahnya temanya HILANG. Bermula dengan kehilangan pesawat MH370 pada 8 Mac 2014 yang sehingga kini sedang dijejaki, disusuli pula dengan kes-kes kehilangan yang berlaku dalam lingkup peribadi. Menjengah bulan April, saya 'kehilangan' sesuatu yang telah diusahakan bersama selama dua tahun. Tetapi k ehilangan  yang ini semestinya untuk sesuatu yang lebih baik, untuk semua pihak.  Walau pun ianya bukanlah sesuatu yang di luar jangkaan, malahan saya antara yang terawal mengetahui mengenai berita tersebut dan mengetuai proses penyerahan itu, namun sedikit-sebanyak emosi itu tergugat jua. Air mata ini gugur bukan kerana kesedihan, tetapi perasaan yang terusik. Mungkin kerana saya bukan sahaja akan kehilangan sesuatu yang telah menjadi my drive and motivation , malahan akan kehilangan sekumpulan rakan yang telah sama-sama mengharungi susah-payah, suka-duka, ketakutan, kegembiraan, kejayaan, kegagalan, kecemasan dan segala-gala yang berkait deng...

*Disclaimer - this entry is not about the UPSR result!   I'm the kind of person that finds it's easier to express my thoughts and feelings through writing rather than talking it out-aloud. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed with my life and surrounding, I prefer to write it down because it is t herapeutic. It's actually easier for me to talk to a large crowd like during meetings or presentations when it come to work or other issue, rather than talking to one person, about my true feelings.   Yes, I'm a contradicting person.   During my schooldays  (a.k.a non-digital days hahaha ) I kept a personal journal where I jot down about my hopes, anger, frustrations and even insecurities, that I bet most people, even those who were close to me, didn't know about.   So when it comes to the digital era, blogging is an easier way for me to write and I even took the bold step to share about my private thoughts with other people. Even peopl...

Bila tin kosong berbunyi, Suaranya yang lantang, nyaring sekali, Orang sekeliling pasti memerhati, Tin kosong megah, bangga sekali... Maka berterusanlah ia berbunyi, Cakapnya berdegar, tidak terperi, Berkata apa, tiada yang peduli, Berbunyilah ia tiada berhenti... Tapi tin kosong lupa... Bila tin kosong berbunyi, Mungkin ada yang rasa benci, Sembangnya panjang tidak bererti, Bunyinya keras, menyakitkan hati, Tin kosong juga lupa... Bila tin kosong berdiri, Dia terhoyong-hayang ke kanan dan ke kiri, Ditolak angin, jatuhlah ia ke tepi.. Tin kosong tidak sedar.. Nilai dirinya hanya pada pengumpul besi buruk, Itu pun jika keadaannya tidak karat, masih berbentuk.. Lain pula halnya dengan tin yang ada isi, Bunyinya kurang, tapi sentiasa dicari, Kerana badannya sarat mengandungi isi, Dipukul angin, tetap tegap berdiri.. Nadym, Hotel Rennaissance KL, 31 Mei 2011

I hit the big '3' on January, or as some nicely put it, I'm now belong to the three-series club. Entering a new decade, of course I aspire to be a better person, in every possible way - a better wife for my husband, a better daughter to my Mom, a better Mom for my darling Adeelia, a better daughter-in-law to my parents-in-law, a better friend to my buddies, a better contributor to my organization and towards our target group, and undeniably a better Muslim. But of course I'm not a super woman , and far from being a perfect person. Depending on the time and situation, I can be quite unpredictable at times. But I guess, as a 30-year old, I have to be more consistent in my undertaking, more mature and I would like to see myself projecting a calm and collected demeanour =). So as a reminder to myself, h ere are some of the things that I would like to tell my 30-years self: 1. Fat is good ~ if only you're referring to your bank account! So save up MORE consistently. A...