Ladies Choice

I was at this workshop for officials involved in gender issues. Then we came to this session where we had to state our stand whether discrimination exists in the cases given. The basic options would be whether we agree or not with the subject matter and provide the rationale for it. I’m okay with people having different views than mine, in fact I find it interesting to debate on our stands, but this particular opinion really shook the daylight out of me --

“I disagree. Because it is a masculine job, and if the woman has a responsible husband and can provide her with a beautiful life, why should the woman complains?”

I just couldn’t believe what I just heard!! If I were the moderator, I would have shrieked and cast this person aside and do some serious brainwashing! However, the moderator (despite the surprised look on her face upon hearing this) politely dismissed her point and continued with the session.

But I really have a problem with her opinion. And I tell you why….

1. We were discussing the issue on discrimination and in the case study; it stated that this particular regulation was imposed on both male and female participants. So how on earth can this woman conveniently assume that the female participants are married? Didn’t it occur to her somehow that not all women have significant others by their side? How about single moms and women who are not married?

2. Even if the women have a beautiful, satisfying marriage, doesn’t it occur to her that some women might still want to work not because of money, but she finds satisfaction in utilizing her potentials in a productive way?

3. I’m really upset as this statement didn’t come from a love-struck teenager, but it was from such a mature, working WOMEN who has years of professional working experience (later I found out that she’s from a male-dominated field)!

To me this is the matter of choice. What if a skilled/professional woman chooses to give up her career to be a stay-at-home mom instead? What if a woman chooses to work despite the fact that she’s married to the wealthiest man in the world? I don’t find any harm in her doing either of it- provided that she’s given the CHOICE to do so- she’s not suppress in any way in making the decision.

I’m not a feminist. However, I believe that other than religions, legal and cultural bound matters-people regardless of their sex (Not GENDER) are free to make their own personal choice. And we should never have the stigma regarding the choices that they made as long as it doesn’t harm us (and the environment as well!).

I don’t find any problem with men doing the house chores, or women driving the bus. I don’t find anything wrong with women wearing pants and men wearing pink ties or shirts –I even find it attractive as it shows that they’re confident enough with their masculinity to wear the color! (b.t.w check out the Thomas Pink collection, just gorgeous!)

What I’m trying to say here is that just because you have certain values and expectations within yourself, and if people doesn’t behave or be just what you want them to be – there is nothing wrong with it, we just have to respect the individualism. But the reason I was (and still) really upset with her statement was not because of her disagreement, but because of the reason that she stated. It really undermined the capability of women as an independent individual…

*Gender refers to the socially constructed attributes of being male or female or femininity and masculinity = can be changed

* Sex refers to the biological attributes of being male or female = unchangeable