The Day I Lost My Cool

I have to admit that this was not the first time I burst out at work – but this was definitely the worst. It was initially a discussion, but somehow along the way we or myself for that matter had been pushing or pressuring the “Coordinators” so hard that one of the “Coordinators” got upset and walked away.

Perhaps that was due to the way I explaining things. I felt so strongly about the matter and maybe along the way I had been terlalu tegas that some people just couldn’t stand it.

But I had been telling the same thing over and over again for over a month. So I guess I got the right to be upset too. To cut the long story short, how would you build a house if the foundation is not there yet?

Perhaps for some people, this incident indicated that I’m garang, ego, control freak, bossy, panicky what ever. While I only admit of being an egoist and a control freak, the real truth why I felt so strongly on my views are as follows:

1. I just want to make things easy for everybody. You see, each of the divisions had to prepare detailed proposals to the upper management. A simple maths - each division might come out with at least 20 slides of PowerPoint. So imagine if we were the boss, tak ke pening tengok presentation yang pelbagai warna, bentuk, susunan berbeza-beza? How are they going to keep track which proposal is repetition, which stays and which goes? In short, how are they going to make a sound judgment then?

2. After this meeting, the Department will need to do at least 2 more presentations for the consideration of the higher levels. In this case, the presentation will have to represent the whole Department, not the respective divisions anymore, so tak ke pening nanti the “Coordinators” nak compile it all if all of us use different settings, format etc? Buat apa nak buat kerja yang sama banyak kali kan? Just spend a few minutes on getting the standardized format will do good for everybody, especially the image of the organization.

But I guess it is all in having the same perspective or thinking in the same wavelength. Some people thinking in the micro and some just the opposite. I know that the “Coordinators” are really good and hardworking people, but if they just spend a few minutes trying to look from the broader perspective, such thing would not happen and they could spare the many hours that we put into labour. It was just inefficient and unproductive.

And perhaps I should improve my communication skills so that I could get others to really understand what I meant. I wonder if Famous Amos also involve in this, perhaps I wouldn’t have such a hard time explaining things…

I guess the abovementioned this sort of concluded of what happened. But for those who are interested in knowing the details and having the patience to actually read my mumblings here it is..

QUICK FLASHBACK- A MONTH AGO

To be frank, we had sensed something was amiss since the meeting that we had in the North, exactly a month ago. We went there supposedly to do the initial preparation for this thing. However, all of us went all the way there only to find that there were not even a framework at all for us to work on. The only file created was the briefing note that was prepared by Famous Amos.

The inefficiency had wasted our time and energy. And of course I already pissed off even then. But I forgone the urge to sit back and just watch and decided to do some damage control. I got hold of the laptop and helped out with the keurusetiaan part. Tak kisahler kalau ada insan yang kata aku nie control freak, yang penting we had to get the work done and managed to save everyone’s time and effort. But of course this thing was only the draft and need to be refined based on the comments from the upper management.

QUICK FLASHBACK- A WEEK AGO

Then we got this Memo from the “Coordinators” saying that another meeting will be held on December 22 in which each division had to present their proposal to the upper management. That’s all – no standardized format been attached subsequent to the draft that we had prepared in the North.

We seriously thought it was the job of the “Coordinators” to get the approval on the draft before we can put the proposals/inputs from our divisions. All that was needed was a simple approved table. We will then fill up the rows and columns with the all details, elaborated justifications, costing and other teeny weenie stuff.

A week before The Meeting I got the chance to sit down with one of the “Coordinators” and told him that the upper management wanted to see the draft on Friday morning prior to the meeting. I took the opportunity to remind about the need to get the approved-standardized format. I even outlined a few things that he might bring forward for the consideration of the upper management- I could do that on my own, but tak nak ler over, crossing the border.

Days had passed, and still no news. No matter what, we still need to get prepared for the meeting. So my division just used the format that we drafted earlier.

THE DAY I LOST MY COOL

On Friday morning, I reminded the “Coordinators” to show the draft to the upper management. A few moments later, they came down saying that they finally got the format that the upper management wanted – it was scribbled down in a piece of paper.

So we-from the other divisions asked the “Coordinators” to come out with the softcopy of the format, and give it to us. What all of us want was a standardized, neatly organized presentation. Therefore, we did not mind having to re-do our presentations (again!) which will take us a good few hours to complete!

But still they gave us none of it-not even the scribbled version. Later in the evening we found out the reason being was the “Coordinators” were too busy getting some info from the states for a tiny friction of the presentation. So we told them that it was impossible for them to get the info since it was already late in the evening and the states would need time to update them. More over, it was not really the “Coordinators” job at all to do that. We wanted to do our part, and we shouldn’t stuck at square one, but to proceed with what ever that we have in our hands. But they refused to understand despite the fact that I’d been telling the same things for ages. This was when I lost my cool which resulted in one of the “Coordinators” got upset and walked away..

Still not giving up, finally another colleague AB and I managed to have sort things out- so at least our divisions will have a standardized format based on the scribbles. Tengah kalut finishing the task the “Coordinator” called- another superior wanted to discuss with me about the format. It was already 6 p.m.!

However, I went to see this superior which I highly respect. He somehow he got tangled too in this matter even if it didn’t involve him at all..kesian dia. In his usual cool and composed manner he asked – “What’s the matter?” He told me his view and I told him mine – actually it was the repetition of what I had told the “Coordinators” earlier. To my amazement, he got what I meant almost instantly and we came out with a mutual solution.

Even if we still need stayed back until late that day, I was quite relieved that at last someone other than AB got what I meant. But of course to some people, my image has tarnished. I’m a garang, control freak person. What to do, kan?