The Journey Begins..Final Part

August 6, 2010, 9.00 p.m ~ By this time everybody were REALLY anxious. I was still stuck at 2 cm dilatation. And by everybody I meant the doctor and nurses, MH, my Mom, my parents-in-law, my in-laws, myself - practically everybody who knows about the situation whether they were physically present at the hospital or just following the progress on the phone.

During this time, all I want was contraction, never mind the pain!! A new 'friend' on my right bed was admitted and oh my God wasn't she a loud one! Moaning and groaning about the pain even as the nurse put in the Enema and broke the water bag! Through the curtain I could hear that a bunch of family members were trying to calm her down. About half an hour later, the moaning and groaning stopped. I asked MH about it and he told me that she was already being sent to the Labour Room. Cepatnya! Just now she was just like me at 2 cm and now? Felt like trading place with her....

I started to ignore my hand phone. I could not bring myself to answer the calls nor to reply the SMSes from well-meaning family and friends who want to know the progress. It was really stressful. Bila kesabaran dah mula berkurangan Syaitan mulalah mengganggu keimanan..I started to ask myself "What's wrong with me?" Masya Allah, inikan ujian dari Tuhan?

That night my mother-in-law accompanied me in the ward, as MH dah sibuk ke sana sini menguruskan apa-apa ikhtiar yang ada, answering calls etc. Morever, my MIL used to be a bidan Kerajaan before, so bukan setakat tunggu, she also adjust my bump ke sana sini, gosok-gosok.Sakit woo!!Mungkin untuk betulkan kedudukan. I didn't ask much, buatlah apa yang patut Mak asalkan saya dapat bersalin cepat! My Mom at home pula tak putus-putus call atau SMS saya bagi do'a-do'a yang boleh diamalkan dalam keadaan macam ni. Syukur kerana saya masih ada orang tua yang boleh menjaga dan menenangkan hati ini..

Came midnight still no progress. My third brother in-law, Abayer dengarnya kalut tengah dapatkan air selusuh lagi as I had drank up mine. Konon nak bagi cepat buka 'jalan', tapi masih belum diizinkan Tuhan. The Doctor came in again. Still no progress. Then she blurted the dreadful news "Kita tunggu sampai esok pagi. If there's still no progress, kita operate". Ya Allah, janganlah sampai kena operate.

1.00 something a.m.~ My parents-in-law and in-laws had gone back. They all needed some rest after a long day at the hospital. MH sat next to my bed. Even as he said nothing at alI, I noticed how worried he was as compared to the calm-collected manner he posed during the day. The Doctor gave me sedative so that I could get some sleep that night. I asked MH to go back and have some sleep. I bet he was more exhausted than I did. Then, I drifted to sleep...

A few moments later, dalam keadaan mamai (I was sedated), I saw MH. He stood next to my bed and asked me to drink this air. Tak ada banyak cerita, terus je minum. Selepas minum, saya mohon kemaafan MH sekali lagi. Sebenarnya, when we were together kami jarang seserius ini - asyik melawak aje. Tapi kali ni feel lain sikit, syahdu aje situasinya..emosi!

Sebenarnya dah bermacam air saya minum since admitted. Air Zam Zam, air selawat, air Yaasin, air selusuh etc. Betapa kerdilnya saya rasa di saat itu. Despite all the medical advances dan usaha-usaha lain, sebagai manusia kita hanya boleh berikhtiar. Pada akhirnya , terserah pada kuasa dan rahmat Allah jua. Kun fa ya kun.

Then I was left in the darkness again. Tertidur lagi. Tapi tak lama, the nurse came in to put in the CTG machine - to monitor the contraction and baby's heart beat. Masa tu saya rasa sakit yang amat sangat. No more period-pain-like sakit, tapi betul-betul sakit! About an hour later I decided to call up the nurse asking for more sedative-tak tahan sangat dah. Then she uttered the most beautiful thing that I had heard all day "Kalau sakit sangat ni, tandanya dah buka 'jalan' lagi kot". She checked and more good news "Dah 4 cm bukak!" Alhamdulillah!!

~Finish~A new journey begins...