Life is Like a Birthday Cake, Just Enjoy It!

 "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
– Mark Twain

Four years ago, I quoted this gem on my birthday post alongside an honest declaration that I was, at that point of time unable to fully comprehend the purpose of me being here just yet. After 42 times of embarking the journey around the sun, suffice to say, I already figure out the latter, though it was not a smooth sailing journey all the way.

In conjunction of my birthday month, here is my reflection of life as a 40-something lass.. 

Life is like a Birthday Cake  ~ 🎂

People always say that life begins at 40. Little did I know that it was not supposed to mean that life after 40 is going to be a fun and easy one. Of course, by the time we've reached 40, we got most of the major life events sorted out already – education, love/marriage, family, career and all. Adulthood undoubtfully was an eventful journey ~ burning the midnight oil to prepare for the finals, struggling to fit in socially, the bitter sweet experience of falling in love and the painful heartbreaks that follows, landing the first job, starting a family, moving to your own abode, and so on ~ all the life experiences thus far is just like the various ingredients that we use to bake a cake. We have the dry/wet ingredients, active ingredients and the sweet/bitter components that we have to mix up together, stir well and finally put it on a high heat in order for it to set and rise to perfection. 

However, there are a lot of variables involved in baking even a simplest cake - if we miss a certain step or using the wrong technique, putting in incorrect amount of or even worse left out certain ingredients or perhaps baking it in inaccurate temperature or baking time 🠆 the cake will not turn out nice. Therefore, everything has to be just right. Not too much nor too little.

But with all that time, resources and efforts invested, we are producing just a cake. A bare cake. That manifests adulthood to me. After all that we have been working on and putting together through out our lives, we will arrive at something eventually. The cake. No matter how big or small, firm or jiggly 🠆 it is still our cake.

Life is NOT a Piece Cake ~ 🍰

But to have a nice, festive, unique birthday cake, it requires lots more. To me, that is equivalent to life after 40. If the earlier adulthood is all about collaborating, getting along, moving on with our spouse, family, friends, colleagues, society and the world ~ it is quite a different journey all together after 40, as we turn our attention more inward. 

It is not always our choice to do so. Ultimately life started to take a very interesting turn once you hit the bit 4-0. News of closed ones departing this life, noticing people around you starting to change ~ for better or worse, health starting to take its toll with various susceptible symptoms emerging out of nowhere, inalienable truths about the world, economy and its so called leaders, and all 🠆 these are the stuff that causes us having sleepless nights worrying about almost everything and everyone, racing thoughts about the uncertainty of the future while at the same time carrying forward the guilts from the past (I should have saved more, should take better care of my health, this and that, etc.) and at the end of the day, you finally realized that you cannot totally control everything. You cannot control even a single cell in your body. Its not within our jurisdiction. But you can control how you respond to all of that.

Icing on the Cake ~ 🍒

Back to the cake. Unlike baking a cake where we have a certain order to follow, it is a different story when it comes to decorating it. You can actually pick and choose what you want to put on top of your cake despite of the size, flavour, texture and the shape of it. It can be a simplistic cake or an avant-garde one. Your choice. 

Just like life after 40, once you have the foundation to work on, everything else is like putting the icing on the cake. It is up to us whether the cake (or life) will be colourful and joyful, dark and gothic, simple yet elegant, or something in between. We can decorate it the way we want it. It will not make the base any difference at all, just the way we look at it and perceive it. 

Life after 40 is when you are not really there yet, but old wise enough to know better. Whilst still living according to the social contract, you are aware that you are a person of your own and don't really care about what other people think of you anymore, not like when you are much younger. You have fewer people in your life, but they are the ones that you treasured the most. You have travelled to places, but home is where the heart is. You value money, but not afraid to splurge on your loved ones or even yourself. You speak up and stand up for yourself and for people that you feel being treated unfairly because you realized nobody will do it for you or for them. You make better choice about how your cake (life) should be now.

Alas, just like a birthday cake, no matter how beautiful it is ~ it still has an expiration date. Something that money and power can't buy. Just like life. Therefore, after 40 you start to be selective with how and whom you would spend your time with. So you don't put up with drama, fake people and all the nonsense anymore. 

That is life after 40 to me ~ I’ve reached to the conclusion that while I am not in my best physical and mental form at this moment, I am at the most comfortable with myself. I know when the icing should be a smooth buttercream or a fully covered fondant. I know whether the chopped nuts are enough or I should be adding the colourful sprinkles as well. Most importantly, I know that I am not going to be everyone's favourite, but there will always someone who like me for who I am. Most importantly, I want to be that person who lights up someone's life, just like how a person face lit up when the see the birthday cake.

P/S: Here is the cake that I got for myself when I turned 40 a couple of years ago. Yes, for the first time in my life, I ordered a custom made cake for myself 😊 It was not exactly like I wanted it to be - but it got the right flavour, almost the correct colour (I requested for rose gold), shape (a monogram cake that supposed to look like the letter "N"), but the rose petals were a bit off right? Nevertheless, it was still a fabulous cake. C'est la vie!

#03of2023
#NadymOnLife